Emergency blog. Vladimir Putin is a bad guy. He is an ex-KGB spy and runs a country that is ranked slightly above Nigeria on government corruption. I'm 90% sure he's wanted for war crimes but I'm not someone you should get your global news from. I barely know how to vote. Anyway... that's bad. I'm... Continue Reading →


It's summer 2014 and I'm a couple weeks into my internship at a dignified financial institution in the heart of Chicago. Suits and ties were regularly worn and professionalism was held to a high standard. Rightfully so. As an intern, I was given miscellaneous jobs to stay busy and I did them with great accuracy... Continue Reading →


Tough week for my football teams. With the Pats defense wearing concrete cleats and the Frogs showing their uncanny ability to play down to any level of competition, I was left with two losses to ponder. But the weekend wasn't a total disaster. In fact, it had a real shining moment. A few buddies and... Continue Reading →


You read that correctly, I almost died today. I decided to Heath Ledger, method act this bitch. After a full day in the cubicle, I decided to spend my Friday night drunk and alone on my couch rewatching Season 6 of The Office checking my Fantasy Football waiver wires and swiping on Bumble. I made... Continue Reading →

DOUCHE CHILLS (the beginning)

The word of the day is 'Douche chills.' Ever re-read a facebook post from Freshman year in high school where you used some Snow Patrol lyrics to express your love to your Freshman-year girlfriend? The lonely walk back to your snickering-friends after the girl at the bar doesn't like your whiskey-breathed pickup line?¬†Ever drop your... Continue Reading →

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