My Dad is Florida Stanley

My dad retired just before Christmas, bought a one-way ticket to Florida and now lives there full-time. The modern day Clark Griswold is hanging up the briefcase and putting on the Hawaiian shirt. He is now Florida Stanley.

The four of us siblings always joked about how the Old Man would act during retirement but it’s been three weeks and it’s far beyond anything we could have imagined.

He’s done ambitious things in that short time– published a book (Relentless Spirirt), used his workshop to create an impressive beer tap decoration for his “man cave” and tore down and replaced furniture in his Office.

My Dad has rose to a high level in the investment world in Boston and Chicago, built a cabin by hand alone and has dealt with incredible adversity as a husband and father of four. Now that he’s retired, he’s flipped a switch.

Now he’s blowing up the family group text.

“Mom’s Dream Date.” Classic Dad joke. Probably took him 45 minutes to make that label and another 15 to get the perfect photo. I know he was giggling to himself the whole time.

His favorite Christmas gift was a digital label maker. His new hobby is walking out to the golf course behind the house with his ball retriever and collecting golf balls in the water hazard. He keeps them in a bin in the garage right in front of my mom’s car as if to remind her the type of man she’s been married to for 35 years.

“I can probably re-sell these for .25 cents and make a profit” he always says. He doesn’t even like golfing.

He’s constantly bragging about his Fitbit steps per day scores and sends photos and videos of the wildlife he sees walking around the neighborhood. I think his next book will be on the mating season of Alligators.

He’s bought two decorations for the house. This classy table shown above and a string of plastic palm tree Christmas he turns on when it’s 5 o’clock. My mother is probably on the verge of strangling him, but if you have an ounce of sophistication, then you realize this is actually quite a fine piece of furniture.

The amount of texts and calls is directly correlated to his new-found boredom. Everything he does sends is unintentionally hysterical.

Hawaiian shirts and no cares in the world. Just sipping fruity drinks and eating dinner at 4:30. What a hero. What a human.

It makes me want to be retired immediately. Pray for my Mother.

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