Rest In Peace ProlapsedRaynus

Video games give us endless entertainment. Fortnite. Ever heard of it?

The most entertaining part of it all is not the game itself; it’s seeing everyone’s gamertag. I believe in the future success of our generation because the difficulty to slip one by the strict name-checkers of Xbox and still craft cheap humor takes high-cognitive ability.

It’s an art really… and the pre-game lobby, where you see nothing but gamer tags, is a comedic art gallery loaded with Picassos.

I respect the hell out of a gamer with a gamertag that can get a chuckle out of strangers.

ProlapsedRaynus was my gamertag for nearly a year before I got an email today from Xbox saying it was banned. It was defaulted to SweetColt686764. The worst.

I was devastated because I took pride in ProlapsedRaynus for the laughs it got from strangers online. It was a weird bonding experience difficult to explain– and quite creepy honestly.

Having that gamertag murdered in cold, politically correct blood shook me to the core. The news of this catapulted me into the first of the five stages of grief (shoutout AP Psych), but I’m resilient and picked up the pieces in order to move on quickly through the remaining four. I found happiness quicker than I should have. Some may call me a hero and I’ll humbly accept that award.

However, this wouldn’t be able possible without the huge support I received from my friends. They’re the unsung hero’s in my incredible comeback story because they didn’t hesitate to console me during my dark time.

So I took to group text to help to reduce my suffering and replace my XBox name. Like adopting a new puppy to replace the pain of losing a childhood dog, it was time to get a new gamertag.

I got some suggestions almost immediately that were nothing short of comedic-genius.

And that’s not even all of them.

Get a group of friends who jump to your aid in times of need. This is what I got and I thank my lucky stars above that I have friends that do just that. Intelligent degenerates.

And if you think for a second I’m not slapping ’69 69′ on the end on any of these suggestions, you’re incorrect.

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